Why I ditched perfectionism.

I've given three presentation on the Enneagram and my coaching work in the last two weeks. When they know a presentation is coming up, my supportive and caring friends and family will ask, "How did it go?" I've learned to guage the success of a presentation not by how flawlessly it went, or how many glowing feedback forms I collected, or how many positive comments I received before I left the venue, or how engaged the participants seemed during the event. All of that is outside of my control.

I have a new metric now. One that is kind and serves me well for my future work. One that I have full agency for. One that demonstrates my values.

The new metric includes these questions:
>Was I prepared?
>Was I truly present?
>Did I show up authentically?


Previously, my mind wanted to critically pick apart my performance: Did I say 'ummm' too many times? I got lost in my notes those times - did I take too long to find my place? Did I speak too quickly or too slowly? Did my hair stay in place? Did the back of my necklace slip around to the front? Did I answer the Q&R time skillfully, or did I fumble a bit? Did I do that weird thing with my mouth?

It's so easy to be harsh with ourselves after a major project that we care about, isn't it? But that's just it - our self-judgment and critical eye show how much we care and how deeply we are invested.

Let's lean into that, and extend a little care to ourselves. We're not perfect, and that's not a problem to be solved. It's not fair to expect perfection of ourselves. We get to be beginners; learners; students of our craft; and people committed to growth - even if we're 20 years in. We get to learn a better way, then do it differently on another day.

Here's to the baby steps and the awkward new beginnings - Cheers! 🥂 Let's count it all, every wobbly attempt. How absolutely charming of us! We're doing the thing! What could be a better use of our breath and resources in this one wild and precious life that we get to live? 👏 💫