Why I ditched perfectionism.

I've given three presentations on the Enneagram and my coaching work in the last two weeks. When they know a presentation was on my calendar, my very supportive friends and family would ask, "How did it go?" I've learned to gauge the success of a presentation not by how flawlessly it went—or how many glowing feedback forms I collected, or how many positive comments I received before I left the venue, or how engaged the participants seemed during the event. All of that is outside of my control.

I have a new metric now. One that is kind and supportive and serves me well for my future work. One that I have full agency for. One that demonstrates my values.

The new metric includes these questions:
> Was I prepared?
> Was I truly present?
> Did I show up authentically?

Previously, my mind wanted to critically pick apart my performance: Did I say 'ummm' too many times? Did I speak too quickly or too slowly? I got lost in my notes those times—did I take too long to find my place? Did my hair stay in place? Did the back of my necklace slip around to the front? Did I answer the Q&R time skillfully, or did I fumble a bit? Did I do that weird thing with my mouth?

It's so easy to be harsh with ourselves after a major project that we care about, isn't it? But that's just it - our self-judgment and critical eye show how much we care and how deeply we are invested.

Let's lean into that, and extend a little kindness to ourselves. We're not perfect, and that's not a problem to be solved. It's not fair to expect perfection from ourselves. We get to be beginners; learners; students of our craft; and people committed to growth - even if we're 20 years in. We get to learn a better way, then do it differently on another day.

Here's to the baby steps and the awkward new beginnings—Cheers! 🥂 Let's celebrate it all, every wobbly attempt. How absolutely charming of us! We're doing the thing! What could be a better use of our breath and resources in this one wild and precious life that we get to live? 👏 💫

I’d love to hear back from you on this: Have you ditched perfection too? What new metrics are you using to measure your work and performance? Please reply to this post or email me directly to share your experience. Thank you for being part of this journey toward kinder, more meaningful metrics! I’m honored to be on the path with you.